Ever had a bad day?

 I am sure everyone has had one of those days where nothing seems to go right.  What do you do about them?  Do you wallow by yourself or have that confidant to listen to your complaints?  

I am lucky.  Let me repeat that, for it needs to be stressed: I AM LUCKY!  I have an awesome family and set of friends (that are basically family) that I can go to with anything.  They know when to leave me alone, when to distract me, and when to let me cry - which seems to happen at the most inopportune times.  

If I want to complain about my journey, someone will listen.  If I am having a hard time with some aspect of my life I can talk it out with any of them.  I am fortunate.  On just my side of the family I have 4 grandparents, 17 aunts and uncles and more cousins than I can count, plus of course Brian, my own parents and wonderful sister + family!  And we all talk.  On days like today (it has not been a good one so far) I need to remind myself of my good fortune.  Life might not always go as I plan or want, but I will ALWAYS have someone there to support me through it (and smack me up side the head when needed).  

I am sure most of you don't read this blog, but for the few of you that do spread the word:  THANK YOU!  (Give that grapevine a work-out.)

Day 170

Oh me, oh my twelve days left till I hit the half a year mark.  It does NOT seem like it has been that long!

"Do you feel any different?" - more and more this question has been posed to me.  I am not sure how to answer.  Sure I have more energy, but I wasn't always an overweight slob.  And even at my worst, I like to think that I did more than an average couch potato!  So I guess it is a double edged sword - I have more energy than I did 6 months ago but over all I don't feel a drastic change. I think it is mostly in my head.  I am proud of what I have done and therefore it shows in my demeanor.

Let's discuss my head :-D  I have written how vacation was a different thing - no aching feet and a craving for activity.  What I didn't write was my comfort.  I have NEVER been comfortable in my skin.  I have always been one of the most self conscious people you could have ever met.  Please do not confuse my out-going nature with self esteem.  You do NOT need to have self esteem to be loud, and if you know me - or just see me out and about - you will notice that most of my bluster is designed to take attention AWAY from my person.  I wear my clothes two sizes to big and though I make a lot of noise I try not to stay still while doing it so I can't be observed.  If I ever do stay still I try my hardest to blend in.  I have NEVER felt comfortable swimming in public and would even go so far as avoid it even though it is one of my most favorite activities.  (Do not even get me started on Seekonk's mandatory 2 weeks of swim in every grade - I dreaded those two weeks out of the year like nothing else from first grade straight through senior year!) I am telling you all of this so you will be able to grasp the slight alterations I have made in my head.  Prior vacations consisted of me swimming only as night when the pools were empty.  I would basically wear my bathing suit cover up into the pool and then toss it onto my chair.  Upon leaving the pool I would convince Brian to grab my towel and meet me at the ladder or stairs so i could wrap myself up immediately.  I would then bee-line for the room.  Don't judge me - I might know how to put on a front, but every has their own demons.  This vacation was different.  I felt a sense of comfort in my own skin.  I willingly went swimming IN THE DAYLIGHT IN PUBLIC!  I didn't ask Brian to hold my towel and I even pool hopped.  Maybe I am getting older and don't care, or maybe the pride is slowly chipping away at my self doubt.  Whatever it is I am happy.  I am comfortable - what a feeling.  I guess, in that sense I do feel different.

I have said it before:  if I could only go back to my junior high/high school self and tell me to embrace those hated curves - maybe those two weeks out of the year would have gone better.

I should also point out that I put the weight ON so I darn well better be able to take it OFF!   What Brian and I are doing isn't "luck", it is work.  It might not seem like hard work, and there definitely days that I wouldn't call it hard, but that doesn't mean we aren't trying.  We are determined and it is showing.

I would also like to point out that my family (Brian especially) are SUPER SUPPORTIVE.  No need of recriminations for my demons.  It is no one's fault but my own that I have/had low self esteem.  My own mind created the barriers and my own mind needs to be the one to tear them down.  I am working on it.  This blog actually is a big step for me - so thank you as well.  Goodness knows 6 months ago I NEVER would have put pictures of myself in a blog!

And now for the numbers:  170 days with 56.7 pounds down.  That is about 0.33 pounds per day, 2.34 pounds per week, and 10.02 pounds per month.  The numbers kind of depress me so I am not going to look at them too much - I would love for them to be higher.  I am hoping to hit 60 pounds by the half year mark!!

Day 158

My chosen mantra

And so it continues...

We recently came back from a great vacation in Orlando.  Vacations seem to be the hardest time to stay on track, granted we walk more overall but the days are filled with yummy snacks and glorious meals.  Let's face it, we like to eat and if we are going on vacation for enjoyment then eating will happen!  Popcorn, my main snack weakness, is always in abundance on vacations - you can't walk around a park without some.  As are peanut butter crackers, chocolate and ice cream.  We seemed to do ok with the ice cream this time around, as Stinkles and Brian have taken a liking to froyo.  The popcorn and glorious meals were another issue.  However I am happy to report that Brian and I made it through vacation only gaining 2 pounds each!  And to make the story even better we both lost those two pounds, and then some, within 3 days of being home!

On day 158 I have decided to, like always, reflect on how this journey is going.  I am 20 days away from half a year.  Now if you had asked me half a year ago if I would be 50 pounds lighter and feel good about how it was coming off I would have scoffed at you.  Not that I didn't want to lose the weight, but I had pretty much decided nothing would work for me.  I am happy to say I was wrong.  This vacation just proves how different our lives are now.  We no longer come home from a full day at a park BONE TIRED and collapsing on the couch.  We walk faster, eat less, and crave a good workout - which just happened to be a nightly occurrence of swimming laps.  Instead of gorging on fried foods (others, not me - never have liked fried foods all that much) we had a cooler bag full of fresh strawberries, cucumbers, oranges and of course Stinkles's pepperoni.  We FIT on rides that, last year, there would have been no possibility - we were able to bring Stinkles on kid roller coasters!  We were actually able to buy souvenir shirts!  I know these might not seem like big things to some people, but it is all compounding into great things for us!

As for the numbers:  Brian and I have lost OVER 120 pounds together.  THAT BLOWS MY MIND.  Brian, being a guy and working hard, has completely blown by me in his losing.  He is currently down 69.1 pounds.  WAY TO GO HUN!  I have slowed down considerably but am still moving in the right direction.  I am currently down 51.4 pounds.  So, the numbers break down as follows:  51.4 pounds lost in 158 days.  That is about 0.33 pounds lost per day, 2.28 pounds lost per week, and 9.18 pounds lost per week.  As you can see the numbers have gone down significantly but I am not going to dwell on that right now.  I am still moving in the right direction so I will be happy and keep on trucking.

Finally I will leave you with some picture. (This is a big treat as I am not a fan of pictures of myself!)

This is Brian and I at the Mexican Pavilion in Epcot in January of 2009.

And here we are at the China Pavilion in January of 2013!!

Stinkles and I at Seaworld in January of 2012...

Here I am at our condo in FL in January 2013!

Here is Brian is 2009 at the UK Pavilion...

and Brian at the Italy Pavilion in 2013!!

Just for fun, here is Stinkles enjoying one of the MANY popcorns on the trip!  Can you tell he is a little Star Wars obsessed at the moment?

Finally, Epcot is our favorite park.  It can be a "journey" nightmare if you let it - i.e. food from ever country pavilion and let's not forget the wonderful food coming out of the Land Pavilion as well - but it is also the park that guarantees the most walking.  My fit bit logged we in for 26,393 steps the day we visited Epcot and it was a short day.  We got to Epcot around 12 and left at about 8 (we did go to Magic Kingdom in the morning, but that is NOT a park for a lot of walking).









UPDATE:  I apparently should have waited until day 159 for my journey update as both Brian and myself officially weighed in this morning.  Brian is currently down 69.8 pounds and I am down 52.9.... that is 122.7 total!

FitBit

If you follow me on facebook or twitter you have recently been bombarded with my FitBit love! It is such a small and simple thing but it has made a big impact in my life.

The road to FitBit started about four months ago. I had just started on my journey and was feverishly downloading calorie and step counting apps. I had used a few calorie counting apps prior but none of them stuck. I decided to give MFP a real try and wanted something to keep track of my daily steps in addition. I downloaded a few pedometer apps for my phone yet quickly realized that was not the way go! They would either drain my battery or be complete JUNK! Now my phone isn't brand new, but without the pedometer program running I have no problem with the battery lasting all day.

So, after many disappointments, I started looking into stand alone pedometers. You would not believe the number of pedometers out there. They all claim to be the best, which do I choose? By this time I was well engrossed in MFP and decided to read some of the message boards to gather some opinions. I was surprised to see an overwhelming number of FitBit users! Don't get me wrong there were WW pedometer users and Fuel Band users but the majority were faithful FitBit users. I took this info and started asking the health conscious friends and dfamily their opinion and found even more FitBit users.

Finally, after all my research I settled on a FitBit One. Three months of contemplating and gathering information had my heart set on a FitBit One and then my head got involved. Why would I spend that amount of money on a STEP COUNTER?!? It seemed frivolous. I really wanted one but I just couldn't justify the expense. Enter Brian in the guise of Santa! The best husband ever supplied the perfect Christmas gift this year!

After some initial problems - the original FitBit I got had some hardware issues so it had to be swapped out for a new one - I am a faithful FitBit user. I am sure that I am still in the novelty period, but I can't wait to check my One at strategic intervals throughout the day.

I use it as a guideline for daily activity. After we put Stinkles to bed I take a gander at my step count and miles traveled for the day, if they are below my goal I need to get my butt in gear! It is actually a great motivational tool. Seeing a low number makes me want to bring it up, and seeing a high number makes me want to beat a previous high! In hindsight, I am kicking myself for waiting as long as I did to get one.

The FitBit itself is small. It comes with a bluetooth dongle, a charging cable, a sleep wrist band, and a carrying clip. It can bluetooth sync with an iphone, ipad or any computer with the required bluetooth technology. It charges completely in about 2 hours and seems to last for about 1.5 - 2 weeks on one charge.

The software for the One keeps track of steps taken,

floors climbed, miles traveled, calories burnt, and your activity level (which is a really cool flower). The One can also track your sleep- I have done this a few times and it seems pretty accurate! FitBit can also sync in with MFP and update my calorie count based on my actual acitvity for each day.

I know it doesn't sound like much but it is great to me! I have decided that the amount of motivation I get from my One was definitely worth the price.

Do any of you have a pedometer or heart rate monitor? If so which ones and why did you choose that one?! I am always curious even though I am thrilled with my One.

Day 143

Annoyed and slightly discouraged are the words for today.  It has been one day shy of two weeks since I last updated on my journey and I have lost all of 1.3 pounds in two weeks... not an accomplishment at all in my opinion.  I am super thrilled for everyone around me that is losing and making it all work, but this week has been nothing but frustration for me.  

I am regularly putting in 4-5 miles of walking/running a day and I have taken up with my yoga and wii fit again.  I think I am in a rut.  I am going to take my Doc's advice and give myself a free day.  Maybe I will have that popcorn I have been craving.  

The numbers as they are:  48.7 pounds down in 143 days.  That is about 0.34 pounds per day, 2.38 pounds per week, and 10.82 pounds per month.  I am not impressed with those numbers.  

That being said - I have to bring my mindset around to realize that I have lost 48 pounds in 4.5 months and that is good.  I need to remember that I am not looking for a quick fix but a lasting change and I am doing it properly.  Time to remind myself of all the positives instead of focusing on the negatives!  I have a lot more energy, I feel GREAT, I get to buy a new wardrobe, I can regularly jog a mile without passing out, I have brought my step count per day up to at least 10,000 in the hopes of leading a healthier lifestyle.  All these are great accomplishments!  Snap out of it Amy and keep plugging!

When I started this journey I decided to share all in the hopes that it would help others like me.  In keeping with that philosophy I have decided to share a tidbit that I normally NEVER would - my actual size.  At the beginning of this journey I was wearing a size 24 (not my proudest moment obviously).  I need to interject that I have NO hopes of being a size 2.  I am just not built that way - as a matter of fact I am pretty sure I would have to really harm myself to make it that small.  I am hoping for a 10/12 when all is said and done.  I have not been a size 10/12 since I was in junior high, and I am not 100% sure it is attainable but I am going to try.  In all my discouragement these past few days I have slowly become aware of something astonishing - I have dropped FOUR sizes.  While trying on clothes yesterday, I fit into a size 16 (snugly).  I didn't purchase the 16 - it was too snug for my liking and just cause I am dropping weight doesn't mean I will abandon wearing clothes a size or so too big.  The 18 fit - with a little breathing room to spare - but I was still astonished that I was not only able to fit into a 16 but pull them up and button them.  In keeping with this trend I grabbed some old dresses last week that I had left at my parents house.  They were from junior and senior year of high school - THEY FIT ME!  I also have to say that I fill them out a HECK of a lot nicer now then I ever did in high school - tip for teenaged Amy: curves are your friend stop fighting them!!  I could not get over the fact that I not only wear, but look respectable in my junior prom and senior supper dresses.  I guess I do still have a reason to be happy/proud.  

So why is it that I am dropping sizes yet my weight isn't going anywhere?  I think I need to reevaluate my relationship with my scale!

The Effects of the Holidays

I have actually been scared to step on the scale!  I set out with great intentions and then I was bombarded with bread, cookies, clams casinos - seriously what's a girl to do?

I must say that I don't think I OVER ate, and I certainly did not eat nearly the amount I normally would have.  I did, however, eat my fill.

For a day and a half all my good intentions went by the wayside and I indulged in my family's wonderful gatherings and party food!

Today I took the plunge and stepped on the scale - I gained 0.2 pounds... not nearly as bad as I thought.  I got back into my routine last night - treadmill time and food planning - and I am feeling pretty good!


One beautiful bright spot on my holiday gain was my Christmas present - a FitBit!!!  Check them out if you don't know what they are, it is very motivational for me.  I have had it for 2 days now and I just keep trying to beat my previous days score.  Today I set out to see how many flights of stairs I could get in, without actually running up and down them of course.  I LOVE that it connects into MFP and adjusts my calories accurately.  I even wore it to track my sleep last night - in 7 hours I woke up 15 times!!  I am sure I will have more to say about my wonderful new gadget soon!

My final thoughts for this post - I would say I survived the holiday!  I will take that 0.2 gain and make it disappear.  I enjoyed my holidays in addition to being conscious of my intake and that to me is success!

Day 126

*I am sorry for the lackluster attitude in this post, I am having one of those "this is taking forever" kind of days!*


I decided I better get this one in before the heavy food days come!

I am hoping to keep my over-indulgence in check in the coming days, yet I am not going to be an extremist.  I have already decided on making baked french toast for brunch on Christmas (stay tuned for that recipe) which will consume almost half of my daily calories - but it is Christmas and I want it.

I posted ten days ago about hitting my 45 pound goal - it has taken me the full 10 days to lose another 2 pounds.  Definitely slowing down!!  I am still moving in the right direction though, so only tiny complaints from me :-D  The numbers are:  in 126 days I have lost 47.6 pounds.  That is 2.64 pounds per week, 11.9 pounds per month and 0.378 pounds per day.  That sure is a far cry from my 0.6 pounds per day lost in the beginning of my journey!

I am not going to get discouraged, I will keep trucking.  Just think, only 53 pounds to go before I hit 100 lost :-) - ok so I am thinking long term today.

In keeping with that 100 lost attitude, Brian and I have crossed that threshold as a couple!  As of right now we are at 105 pounds down as a couple! So quick someone do the math for Brian.... ok ok I will just tell you: 58 pounds lost for him!!!  WAY TO GO BRIAN!

******Update:  Brian just officially weight in and has lost 60 pounds total!!!   So I guess we are now at 107 as a couple :-)*******

Goals

I know I just posted two days ago - sorry!

What do we think about goals?  Do you shoot for the stars or keep things closer/super obtainable?  I appear to have a double standard.  In most things I advocate the shoot for the stars.  I am a firm believer that attitude goes a long way in helping natural ability - if you aim to make your dreams come true and believe that you can I think you just might do it!  (And be extremely proud of what you accomplish in the process!)

That being said, I seem to be creating small,  highly obtainable goals for my journey.  I gave myself a month to lose 5 pounds, when I knew full well that I had been losing at least 10/month up to this point. Now that I have achieved that goal I am rethinking that goal.  Was it too small?  Should I have pushed farther?  I immediately form another goal upon the completion of one, but normally it is another small one.

I think I keep my journey goals small so that I am almost guaranteed to reach them.  There is nothing more aggravating/depressing than working hard at something like this and not meeting your goal.  But is it the right way to go about things?

Now that I have reached my goal of "45 pounds down by the end of the year", I have decided to turn it into "47.5 pounds down by the end of the year".  Is that too small?  Should have I aimed higher?

I suppose I will stick with what is working, but I can't help but feeling the double standard in my goal settings.  Any thoughts?

12/12/12

So I am breaking with tradition and posting on a nice rounded day of my journey - day 115 - but who could resist posting on 12/12/12?!

I am not as happy with my progress since my last post, but at least I am still inching in the right direction.  I supposed it could be worse and I could have been gaining.  In the 115 days since starting my journey I have lost a total of 44.5 pounds.  (It would have been wonderful to be able to say 45 pounds but the scale was just not cooperating with me.)  The numbers break down as follows:  2.71 pounds lost per week.  0.39 pounds per day.  I am one week away from my four month mark - so as of right now I have lost an average of 11.41 pounds per month.  Definitely slowing down.  I hope to keep up the 2 pounds per week average, but I guess I should say right now that I will be happy as long as I don't drop below 1 pound per week.

Now for some good points - my "pregnancy jeans" are officially LOOSE!  I am actually only half a pound away from my lowest pregnancy weight!!! (Go me for only gaining back 45 of the 60 pounds I lost during pregnancy - hey I have to celebrate the little things, and those 45 pounds are almost gone!)  I just keep thinking that in 10-15 more pounds I will be the weight I was when I started college!  It all keeps me going.   I am keeping my eye on the short term goal - .5 more pounds till I hit 45 down by the end of the year!!!  (I, of course, am shooting for 50 by the end of the year but we will see...)

OK I think that is all for now.  I will probably be back in a week at the 4 month mark for another quick update.

Black Bean Brownies

Yup you read that right, BLACK BEAN brownies.  A few years ago I probably would have scoffed at anyone that said those three words together - but now I will pretty much try anything.  They aren't all that bad.  I think the recipe would go MUCH better if I had an actual food processor and not just a magic bullet.  I am going to have to write to Santa for one.  There is that after taste of black beans, but seeing I like black beans it doesn't bother me too much.  These would probably be even better with some frozen yogurt or even a dollop of cool whip.

The Black Bean Brownies are only about 70 calories less than a regular brownie however so I guess it all depends on your preference.  If you are looking for a brownie recipe that doesn't contain flour then this is for you.

Black Bean Brownies

• 15 oz (1 can)  Black Beans, drained and rinsed
• 2/3 c Sugar
• 2 Eggs
• 2 Egg Whites
• 1 t Vanilla
• 5 T Cocoa Powder
• 1/4 c Butter or Margarine, melted
• 1/2 c Chocolate Morsels

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F and grease an 8 x 8 pan.
2. Place all ingredients, save the chocolate morsels, in a food processor and process till smooth.
3. Pour the mixture into your prepared pan.  Sprinkle the morsels over the batter.
4. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until firm to touch.
5. Allow to cool and ENJOY

The brownies are fairly fudge-y in consistence.  I sprinkled a shake of confectioner's sugar on the top as well.  I cut the recipe into 16 pieces which yielded about 120 calories per serving.  As I said earlier, they aren't bad but I am not sure if the calorie savings is big enough for me to forgo my old standby Hershey Brownies.

If you give them a try let me know your opinion!

Day 101...

Continuing my habit of posting on odd days I give you day number 101.  I know I just posted three days ago, but it's my blog and I am feeling chatty :-D.

**I would like to start this post with a GREAT BIG GIANT SHOUT OUT OF CONGRATULATIONS to Brian for hitting and EXCEEDING 50 pounds lost!!! (In the very short period of three months I might add.)  Not only am I excited but I am very proud of him.  He has really taken to the new routine of things and it shows.  Brian you are an amazing inspiration - as well as a great support.  I thank you so much!  CONGRATS!!**

Three days ago I informed you of my wonderful accomplishment (or two if you count the jeans).  I have tried every day since to recreate the wonderful mile I jogged with limited success.  I can do 3/4's of a mile no problem but that last quarter seems to get me.  Have no fear I won't give up.  I will keep trying until I can jog one mile a day for 7 days straight (look for that super excited post to come in 6 months :-/ - it's a long term goal).

The actual reason for my post today, besides it being day 101 which is just a perfect day for a post, is to officially say that I have achieved my December 1st goal of losing 40 pounds.  (With two ounces of wiggle room to spare as well! - hey every little bit counts!)    

Now that December is just around the corner I was thinking back on when I started this whole thing.  I remember saying I would be thrilled if I could lose 30 pounds by the end of the year.  Seeing I started at the end of August that would have given me a little over four months to achieve that goal.  The first month came and went and I had already hit the half way mark.  I reassessed and decided on 30 pounds by Thanksgiving.  When I hit the 30 pound mark I decided on 40 by December 1.  I am not so sure it is a good thing that I would "change" my goals but it certainly kept me going.

I would love to be able to say my new goal is 50 pounds by the end of the year, but I want to be realistic.  Between now and the end of the year lays Christmas and all the parties and gathering associated with that wonderful holiday.  I am certainly going to work towards 50 pounds by the end of the year but I am setting my goal at 45.  Let's face it, I am going to enjoy one or two pieces of my mother's wonderful peanut butter fudge - it wouldn't be Christmas without it!  I should also point out that I have set the goal to 45 cause I am certainly slowing down.  The very first month of my journey I was losing an average of .523 pounds PER DAY.  The second month slowed me down to .488 pounds per day.  I am now losing about .397 pounds per day.  I am not complaining, that is still a loss.  I have to be realistic though, to expect the kinds of results I experienced in the first month would set myself up for disappointment.

The numbers for my 101st day:  40.1 pounds lost.  Averaged to:  11.94 pounds lost per month.  2.86 pounds lost per week.  And finally .397 pounds lost per day.  I am going to say I am still pretty happy with that!

This is a journey, synonymous with expedition or voyage not a quick jaunt, and I intend to see it through!

Excited

So I was going to wait for the 100th day of my journey to post but I am just too excited!  Let me preface this by saying I understand that to some these are not big accomplishments but to me they are - and this blog is about me so you have to read about them :-D.

The first accomplishment is exercise related.  If you know me you know that I was also fairly fit throughout high school.  I played multiple sports a year with conditioning/summer ball on all off seasons.  That being said I have NEVER been a great runner/jogger.  For some reason when I ran I would lose my breath very quickly.  Now I am asthmatic, but I am also very very stubborn.  I would push myself till my vision would blur, then black and I would wake up on the ground with a worried coach standing over me.  It was always a point of extreme disappointment to me that I couldn't even JOG a whole mile without blacking out.

I am VERY happy to say that is NO LONGER THE CASE! A little while ago I told you all about how I was thrilled that I jogged a quarter mile.  Well about a week ago I moved up to a half mile and that went well.  Today I was shooting for 3/4's of a mile and I just kept going.  I was feeling good and my stubborn nature kicked in making me want to, for the first time in my life, finish out a mile at a jog.  Please read that as JOG - I am not running, baby steps people.  I would also like to point out that there is no way in hell anyone can deflate me for this accomplishment.  In the world of Amy this is HUGE.


The second accomplishment is actually a little embarrassing.  I started the journey portion of my blog to not only keep myself honest but to also help other people in my situation.  I have hoped that by my writing out everything - good and bad - someone else would look at it and say "I don't have to be afraid or ashamed".  I am sure there are people questioning why I would use the word ashamed, let me just say that no matter how strong you think you are there are always feeling of shame.  I want to put all of my journey out there to help other people - I know what it feels like and if they can use my journey as a source of comfort or strength then all the better.

So here it goes:  for the first time in 12+ years I fit in jeans from the "Regular" side of the store.  I was actually able to walk out of the "Plus" section and try on and BUY not only one but TWO pairs of jeans from the "regular" section.  Again I state this with some embarrassment, but I need to be strong and true to myself - and I am proud of myself.  The size really means nothing to me.  I am sure if I searched and searched I could have found some store that would have fit me before.  I am proud that I am healthy.  I am proud that I had the courage to even try - cause it does take courage.  I am just proud, and I think I have every right to be.

Thanks for reading and not judging.  As you can tell I am SUPER EXCITED!

Oh yeah - I am really making a push to hit 40 pounds lost by December 1st.  So if you are in my day to day life and you see me making some bad choices remind me of my goal!  I have a little over a pound to lose and I would LOVE to lose it by the first or my birthday the latest!!

3 Month Mark

As I am sitting here eating my "Cool Cuts Perry the Platypus Pizzeria Salad" I realized that today is the three month mark of my journey.  Though I am not seeing the same magnitude of results I saw during the first month, I am going to say that I am still happy with my progress.

I knew the weight loss would slow down - there was no way I would be able to keep up losing 3-5 pounds per week, but it hasn't STOPPED so that is good.

Due to a weekend trip out to eat, I have noticed that my eating habits have DEFINITELY changed.  I am not saying that I CAN'T eat anything and everything, but I can tell you that my body will let me know when I do.  After a particularly greasy meal I found myself CRAVING an apple.  As a matter of fact I think I ate an entire pound of lettuce that night as well.  I have also noticed that it is getting easier to walk away from certain foods - though let me tell you having a cake in the house was NOT a good move and it ended up in the trash so I wouldn't eat it.  I am still asking for a to-go box at the beginning of my meals when we are out and that is also still going really well.

My energy levels seem to be on the rise again.  I noticed that after having Stinks I would be in bed - not necessarily asleep, but in bed - very soon after I put him to bed.  Now this could have been due to being sick, but over the past year I think it was just due to being a lazy slob.  In the past three months I have gone back to my normal 11 or later bed time and I am getting up at 6 without feeling like a wretch.  I also am no longer huffing and puffing after running around with Stinks - always a good thing.

Finally I  noticed that I have increased my walking speed at least 1.5 mph.  I know it doesn't seem like much, but in my opinion it is huge.  Think about it - say when I started this journey my average walking speed was 2 mph (it wasn't I am just using that as an example).  Now, three months in I would be walking at 3.5 mph.  I think that is great!

And now for the numbers.  They aren't as great as I would like them to be so please excuse the lack of enthusiasm.  36.7 pounds lost in 3 months.  That is 12.23 pounds per month.  I have slowed down so much I feel like the 40 pound mark is very far away, but I am not giving up.  I will DEFINITELY reach that mark by the end of the year - I am hoping to reach the 45 pound mark by the end of the year.

I would say all in all I am in a positive place right now.  Don't worry, I am sure the scale will hate me in the next few days and I will be posting about how I am stuck!

Quick Realizations

As I was logging into MFP today I realized something - Brian and I have lost over 75 pounds as a couple.  That blows my mind!

As I am wont to do I feel the need to say thank you.  Being on this journey is difficult enough without having to keep it to myself.  Being able to share the experience and be proud of one another has seriously helped.  Way to go Brian!  I think we are doing great and we can keep moving forward!!

Stinks and I "cheesing" - it seemed appropriate for a happy realization :-D

Day 71...

Day 71, cause we all know I can't post on a nice round number day.  I think 71 has a nice ring.  Isn't it strange that "good" things measure time in week, months and finally years?  Take a baby for instance, you go through the period of "he's 2 weeks old", followed by "today is 10 months", then it becomes "wow three years already" (yup that is where I am)!!  Yet when it is something hard/difficult it is measured in days past.  Not normally weeks or months, we like to see that GIANT "days" number.  I could have just as easily said 10 weeks, but that doesn't seem as much to me.  And 2.5 months certainly isn't a big enough number.  I will stick with days for now - 71.

So I finally broke down and posted a "stuck" rant about a week ago.  I hadn't moved for a week and I was a little annoyed - SORRY!  I honestly have to say I felt better almost as soon as I posted the rant.  I certainly felt better after I visited my doc for a flu shot and quarterly visit - sometimes I swear my doctor is a vampire; with the amount of blood she requires it's a good thing I have no problem with needles! ** I am going to go off on a tangent right now about my medical team.  They are AWESOME!  Through many crazy mixed up things they have supported me.  From my PCP to my liver doc they all rock!  I love the fact that I can talk to them without censoring myself and they do the same.  I don't get the "doctor's speak", I get the sarcastic or tell it like it is conversation that works best for me!  **

Anyway, after a visit to my doctor's office - which has the BEST SCALE EVER seeing it said I had lost 3.5 pounds more than mine did - I was feeling very good.  I ran the MFP program and my current journey by my doc and she gave me her thoughts.  She feels that it is obviously working for me and she is happy about that.  She did give me some "Amy Lectures" (read: sarcastic jabs) about a few days where I didn't eat enough calories.  Apparently muscle is a lot easier to break down than fat so those days I did more harm than good.  She rattled off the warning signs of not getting the right amounts of vitamins - the same ones we all know.  And then she gave me a piece of advice that astounded me.  Have a splurge day.  I must have made her say it about 12 times.  (Which she did in the typical sarcastic fashion that is our relationship.)  She said that if I find I am not loosing, and my exercise/food consumption has been steady/the same then you need to shake things up.  She said that a splurge day is what is needed.  Your body becomes complacent and slows your metabolism to the calorie count you are eating.  She said you want to remind it to work faster.  Now a splurge day doesn't mean to go out and eat an entire cake by yourself, but perhaps have that piece you have been wanting.  She also suggested NOT establishing an exercise routine.  Again, your body anticipates the exercise, shake it up.  Don't do the same thing every day at the same time.  Finally she informed me that I needed to be sure to eat my calories.  If, for example, I have 1300 calories for the day - eat 1300 calories.  Eating your calories helps you loose weight faster and better. All in all she was happy with my progress - YAY seal of approval from the doc! I took her advice to heart - seeing I had been stuck for almost a week - and decided to treat myself to that hunk of bread that had been calling my name.  For the next few days I ate at my calorie count, where as previously I have been aiming to come in 100-200 below the goal.  POOF - within a couple of days I started losing again.  Within a week of that conversation, following her added guidelines, I have lost 3.1 pounds.  My doctor is a genius!

In other journey news, I have recently cracked out the Wii Fit.  I had used it pretty regularly prior to Linc being born, but had completely ignored my Mii since his birth.  After dealing with the boards little jabs of not seeing me for a LONG time, I realized I enjoy using it.  I set up a yoga/strength routine that I do, if not daily than at least every other.  The days I give the routine the night off, I spend an caloric equivalent amount of time hula hooping, skateboarding or having snowball fights.

And now for the numbers.  71 days, as we discussed earlier, and 32.4 pounds lost.  (Not that I am really missing them, but you know what I mean.)  That is .456 pounds lost per day.  3.24 pounds lost per week.  And finally 12.96 pounds lost per month.  I am happy with that.  I was stuck and I complained.  I did something about it and now I am back on my journey.  All in all I am happy.  This is working and I can't wait to see what the next months bring!

Someone be sure to remind me about my doc's advice the next time I whine about being stuck!!  (Sorry about the incredible length of this post - not having power has left me chatty!)

STUCK DARN IT

**I apologize in advance for my annoyed and probably whiny post - I need to get it out of my system.  The good thing about a blog is that if my writing is annoying you too much you can just stop reading :-D**

It has been a ROUGH week on the yellow brick road to "journey"-ville.  About a week ago I posted how I have been following my journey for 60 days and that I am down 29.3 pounds.  I had wanted to delay that post in the hopes that at the official two month mark I lost the .7 pounds and I could say I was down a solid 30.  Well that was the HOPE.  It has been a week and I haven't moved at all! AT ALL!

I know I need to step away from my scale, but I enjoy seeing the numbers go down - WHEN THEY GO DOWN.  I step on the scale at night and do the math for the morning (yes, I am female and yes I can fluctuate 2-3 pounds between my morning weight and my end of day weight - why do you think I always try to get the earliest appointment at the doctors office?).  I think "tomorrow it will go down", then the morning comes and that damn scale laughs at me.  It is stuck - the same number staring back at me for a week - I want to scream!  I have been doing my 2-3 miles a day and in the past week I have even added 20 minutes of yoga every night.  I am staying within my calorie/fat/sodium/carbs/protein goals.  What gives?!

Ok so in the midst of my pity party I have to admit that I am still feeling great.  I notice clothes fitting better (or way too loosely).  I am definitely slimming in areas and my energy level has been great.  I know that these are all results of my continued commitment to my journey.  Part of me is berating myself for writing the above drivel.  Trust me I know.  The fact that I know doesn't make it any easier to stomach.  I am working hard at this.  It doesn't come naturally to walk away from food I want, it is hard and I want the results to show.  I know I am being impatient.

I will end this with a focus on the positive.  I now crave my 2-3 mile jaunts on the treadmill.  I look forward to my yoga every night.  I positively ENJOY researching and creating all the wonderful recipes to fit in with my journey.  I am still loving MFP.  I should have posted this rant there, it would have gotten a lot of feedback.  Brian is still super supportive and I am proud of the progress I have made so far.  I want to keep going.  I knew it wasn't always going to keep up at the pace it was (though I was hoping I would see at least a LITTLE change in the course of a week).  I am in this for the long haul and I have my mind wrapped around that.  I walked away from the plate full of lemon squares today.  I knew that if I ate more my night would be full of regret.  I can't even complain that this is a setback - it isn't.  It's a stalemate.  I will continue and progress will happen.

Peanut Butter (Corn Flake) Bars

As I am sure you have read by now I am constantly on the prowl for "yummy" sweets that agree with my journey.  Some of the things I was certain to have to relegate to the once-a-year-treat pile were any form of my peanut butter bars or balls.  It was a very very depressing thought.  Peanut butter is meant to be eaten in large quantities and often - preferably right out of the jar with a spoon or mixed with some form of chocolate!!  So the search is constant - I head to Pinterest for some of these searches, though like anything you find online, it is always a good idea to recheck any calorie count you find - they aren't always truthful!  This time I found a recipe with potential.  As always, prior to attempting a recipe or even adapting one, I plug the original into my calorie counter - yup it had potential!!  So I sat down and racked my brain on how I could make it just that much friendlier to my daily caloric intake, not to mention my fat and protein intake.  (I would normally say my sugar intake as well, but let's face it I was looking for a recipe with chocolate!)  Here are the results:

Peanut Butter (Corn Flake) Bars

• 3 c Corn Flakes, crushed
• 1 c + 1T Peanut Butter (I use creamy but you can use what you want/have)
• 1/2 c Sugar
• 1/2 c Corn Syrup 
• 6 oz Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

1. Prepare a 9 x 13 dish by foiling and greasing.
2. In a microwave safe bowl combine  1 cup of peanut butter, the sugar and the corn syrup.  Microwave on high for 30 second intervals, stirring between, until melted and combined.
3. Mix the corn flakes into the peanut butter mix and press into the prepared pan.
4. In the same microwave safe bowl combine the chocolate chips and 1 T of peanut butter.  Microwave on high in 30 second intervals, stirring between, until the chocolate is melted.  Pour over the corn flake mix in the pan.  
5. Refrigerate until chocolate is firm and cut into pieces.
6. Enjoy!

Now these bars may not be as sweet as the "Gold Bars" I normally make, but they are HALF the calories!  I cut the bars into 32 pieces resulting in a calorie count of 111/bar.  I know it doesn't seem like a low calorie snack, but it will satisfy my peanut butter chocolate craving so it is great in my book!

60 Days....

Today is my 60th day using MFP.  I would say all in all it is going fairly well.  I wanted to wait until the "official" two month mark on Saturday to post, but I am impatient.

The numbers right now stand as follows:  60 days and 29.3 pounds lost.  I wish I could have said thirty pounds, but I guess I will take the 29.3 and just keep plugging along.  So let's do out the math - that is my favorite part - 60 days = 8.5 weeks.  So, "subtract two, carry the one", I am losing about 3.5 lbs per week.  There is NO WAY that can keep up, but I will take it while it is offering :-D

It isn't just about weight though - I have noticed a LOT more energy, I generally feel much better (even with the horrible allergy attacks), I even look forward to my workouts.  I would say all in all the past 60 days have brought me into a healthier way of living - not that I was a slob/sloth prior to the past 60 days, but you know what I mean.

I have recently added in 20 minutes of yoga/strength training (via the Wii) every night.  I am not a yoga person - am not/never have been/probably never will be a bendy flexible person - but with the Wii I am allowed to pick and choose what poses and stretches I want.  I then intersperse them with lunges, twists, and lifts and have a nice 21 minute workout that is perfect for right before bed.  I can do it within the comfy confines of my own house and can switch up the routine at any point.

All in all I would say I am happy with my journey so far.  I definitely have those days where I think it is not going well and when I question my continuance.  Then I think about about all I have accomplished in such a short period of time:  29.3 pounds down, can run 1/4 mile (seriously that is a BIG thing for me), I no longer huff and puff when running around outside with Linc, I don't get that horribly gross feeling every night when I go to bed, I feel much more rested, seriously the list goes on and on - COMPLETELY WORTH ANY EFFORT I MIGHT PUT FORTH.

As always I would like to thank you all.  It helps knowing that people not only support you, but are also paying attention.  Thanks!

Quick, Easy and Yummy

For something a little different today I have decided to share my go-to, quick, easy and yummy vegetables.  Normally I am all about fresh vegetables, however there are times when I just want something easy as a side dish. Something quick, to grab for a lunch that isn't a yogurt and that will take me 4 minutes or less to create a hot delicious small meal.  Now for those of you that will condemn me for using frozen vegetables, I encourage you to come spend a day in my life.  I do try, on as many occasions as possible, to stick with fresh (and even local) produce and dairy, however at times it is just not feasible; or I would prefer to spend the time playing Angry Birds with Linc.  I would also like to point out that at least we are still eating vegetables and not Big Macs!!  In my opinion these are a win-win!

What are they you ask?  I just like to build the suspense :-) (over vegetables no less).  Green Giant boxes!  Specifically the Teriyaki Vegetables and the Antioxidant Blend.

The third box is Brian's Vegetable Medley - contains potatoes and comes
in around 150 calories for the box.  Also yummy!

I have a membership to both Sam's Club and BJ's, which is the best place to buy things such as frozen vegetables.  I have to admit that I have never purchased these particular blends from Sam's Club, I seem to get them exclusively at BJ's.  Now don't let the front of the box fool you - as it did me the first time around - they are 40-50 calories PER SERVING, not box.  That being said, in both cases the entire box - if you are eating one as a meal - is only 100 calories.  

Antioxidant Blend on the left and the Teriyaki Vegetables on the right.
(Who is proud of me that I got the left/right correct?! - first try and all!!)

The antioxidant blend is a nice mixture of broccoli, peppers and carrots in a garlic-herb infused olive oil seasoning.  It is not to heavy, as some olive oil infusions can be, and is the perfect accompaniment to virtually any meal - at least in my opinion.  It also tastes well with the addition of some chicken breast.  I mix 4 oz of precooked boneless skinless chicken breast into the vegetables when they come out of the microwave and I have a very filling 210 calorie lunch!  

The teriyaki vegetables is a blend of broccoli, carrots and cauliflower in a teriyaki sauce.  Again the sauce is not to heavy, though I do find that at times there is too much sauce.  I have found that this box goes wonderfully with rice (where that extra sauce might just come in handy).  One cup of brown rice, drop the veggies on it and poof - instant 250 calorie DELICIOUS meal.  

I use frozen broccoli florets in a lot of recipes, but these boxes come out of the microwave ready to eat and perfectly seasoned.  At about $0.92 per box I can't go wrong!  (We buy them at BJ's.  There are 6 boxes per pack and they are $5.49/pack.)  

Now I have certainly tried to "make my own" frozen veggie packs.  I either do not have the flash freeze down, or they come out WAY to sauce heavy.  Until I perfect my own vegetable packs, I will be purchasing these for a quick, easy and yummy side or lunch!  

What do you guys think?  Anyone else have a favorite "quick, easy and yummy"?

Baby steps....

This is just a teeny tiny post about an accomplishment that I am quite proud of right now:

Tonight I was able to jog an entire quarter mile! (I walked a quarter, jogged a quarter, then walked the remaining half.)

Ok so I know for most of you this is not a huge deal, for me it is! Even in my "three sports a year plus summer ball" days I was never a runner. Between my horrible mechanics and my asthma I was/am always more likely to black out than actually complete a run. Can't tell you how many times I woke up half way around the field on our softball runs- one would think I would have more self preservation. So as you can tell I am thrilled. I not only jogged the quarter mile, but I kept my consciousness AND was breathing fairly well.

Teeny tiny baby steps!